It was Friday the 13th and Roy was sleeping in his room. He thought that he saw something moving across his front yard but when he looked up, nothing was there. He decded that it was just the wind blowing something across his yard. He went back to sleep. When he woke up again, he found that his window was opened in his room. He didn't know what did it. He got up and closed it. He went back to bed.
Me: I hate waking up at night. I want to sleep damn it. Well that isn't fun. Since I'm on the second floor I'd be pretty wigged if I peeked outside and found someone staring at me. Of course that won't happen because I don't go near the window and pretty much leave the blinds closed all the time unless things get too hot and I open the window to avoid getting baked.
When he woke up again, he felt a greater sense of terror unlike anything else because he saw a giant, tall, and dark red monster standing in his room watching him. It had no face and it was replaced by 4 sets of razor sharp teeth which were oozing human blood. It also had sharp hooks for each of its fingers.
Me: Dreams can be weird.
"This has to be a dream" he said.
Me: Thanks for the head's up dude. So are you willing to give a guy a thirty second head start?
The monster spoke to him in a demonic and deep voice and said "It's not a dream. I'm here to kill you and take your head".
Me: Dude monsters exist. Do you never watch shows on Investigation Discovery and Oxygen?
Roy replied and said "No, this is definitely a dream. Monsters like you don't exist in real life".
Me: Well this shouldn't surprise you or maybe it should after all you thought this was just a dream.
Just then, the monster got one of its hooks and stuck it into his arm. The hook got stuck in there and when it pulled it out, a piece of his flesh was ripped off.
Me: It would be for me.
"Is that real enough for you" it said.
Me: Really? Are you fucking kidding me?
Roy looked down at his arm and said "I don't know. I'm sure that it's possible to feel pain in dreams".
Me: I agree about this dude being a moron
"Well moron, this is reality so quit being such an idiot" the monster said.
Me: Anyone else thinking he's the village idiot? Actually that might be an insult to idiots everywhere.
Roy said "Aren't you going to kill me and take my head off?".
"No", the monster said, "I'm not going to kill you unless you admit that I'm real".
Me: Dude just say he's real so he can put us out of our misery already.
Roy said "First, you have to prove to me that you're real".
Me: Poor dog. Why couldn't you take out a serial killer instead? Now that's one killer you could actually root for.
The monster sighed and walked out of his room. About 25 seconds lateer, it returned with his dead dog and it threw him onto Roy's bed.
"There", the monster said, "I just killed your pet dog you idiot. Is that enough proof for you".
Me: Anyone else want to slap Roy?
Roy replied "That's not really proof. I've had dreams before where people and animals died in them".
Me: Okay he's annoying as fuck but dude don't say shit like that.
The moster said "Listen you fucking faggot, I still have 6 more kids I have to kill tonight so stop holding me up. I have a schedule to keep. The season finale of Game of Thrones is on tonight."
"Why don't you just kill me now?" Roy asked.
The monster said "If I kill you now then I'll be embarrassed knowing that I didn't strike any fear into your heart first".
Me: Smart beneath an annoying exterior?
Roy asked "Why don't you kill the other kids and then show their bodies to me? Then I might feel scared."
"Fine, I will" the monster angrily said.
The monster walked out of his room and went to kill the other 6 people. As soon as it presented itself to them, they were screaming instantly and it killed them with ease. It walked back inside Roy's room and it showed him their dead bodies and the videos of it killing them.
Roy watched them and examined the dead bodies very closely.
"Now that I've shown you all this proof, are you finally convinced that this is not a dream?" the monster asked.
Me: Now I'm confused but I'm often confused along with often confusing others. It's a gift.
Roy looked confused and he didn't say anything.
Realizing that he didn't look too convinced, the monster said "Look at all these dead bodies. Look at how realistic they are. Can a dream recreate dead bodies as realistically as these ones?".
Roy said "I'm sure it can. This is still a dream".
Me: Okay this time I totally understand your words.
The monster angrily said "What the fuck is your fucking problem you fuckng idiot? You are as fucking witless as you are ignorant. Fuck you!".
Roy said "Well, this isn't enough proof for me."
Me: Maybe this kid likes the idea of a monster carrying out his kills.
The monster said "Here, follow me so you can watch me kill your parents."
Roy and the monster walked inside his parents' room. The monster woke them up and they all started screaming in terror as soon as they saw it. The monster was slashing at them with its claws tearing their bodies apart. It then bit their heads off and it opened a gate to hell and threw their heads inside it.
"Because of your stupidity, you cost your parent's their lives. Is this enough proof for you or do you want me to start killing your friends from school?" the monster said.
Me: Well aren't you an evil little bugger.
"This isn't nearly enough proof so you're going to need to do it." Roy said.
The monster said "Sure fucking thing".
The monster and Roy walked out of the house and they walked a bit down the street and stopped at his closest friend's house.
"If you don't admit that this is reality then I'll kill Don and his entire family. This is your last chance." the monster said.
Roy said "Well, this is a dream so I'll just see him tomorrow in school again so go for it".
Me: Poor cat.
The monster and Roy went inside Don's house. First, it killed their pet cat. Then, it killed Don's younger sister. After that, it killed Don's mom and dad. It then walked into Don's room and killed him too. It took all of their heads and threw them into a portal which lead to hell.
"There, do you finally have enough proof?" the monster asked.
Roy thought for a second and said "No, I don't."
The monster screamed "What the fuck?!".
Me: Can someone punch him already?
Roy said "You're not proving anything."
The monster thought for a moment and said "Okay, now I'm going to kill your second best friend Matthew."
The monster and Roy waked over to Matthew's house. It killed his older sister and brother. Then it killed his parent's. Finally, it killed Matthew. It took all of their heads and threw it into the portal which leads to hell.
"Is that finally enough proof for you?" the monster asked.
"Not even close."
The monster thought for a second and said "You know how you're going to ask Emily out on a date Monday?".
"Yeah" Roy said.
The monster said "Well, she's going to say yes so now I'll kill her and her entire family.
Me: What the fuck is wrong with you Roy?
The monster and Roy walked over to her house. It killed her pet dog. Then, it killed her older brother. Finally, it killed her parents's. It started walking to her room.
"Also, I'm going to make her death very slow and painful." the monster said.
It woke her up and it cut her arms off immediately. She was screaming in pain. Then it was cutting her open and ripping her organs out. Then, it left her to bleed to death. When she died, it bit her head off as well and it threw it into hell along with the heads of her family.
"There, is this enough proof for you?" the monster asked.
"No" Roy said.
The monster took him into a big city. They waked under a bridge and 5 homeless men were sitting under it talking to each other. It went up to them and it brutally murdered all of them. It ripped their heads off as well and it threw them into hell. 2 more of them showed up.
One of them said "Why were you guys screaming. Is everything alright?".
The monster ripped his head off and the other one tried running away. The monster chased him and it caught up with him. It tore him apart and ripped his head off as well. It threw both of their heads into hell.
"Look at all the pain you've caused everyone. If you would only admit that this isn't a dream, this would be all over." the monster said in hopes of convincing him.
Me: Okay just rip his head off already. You're a monster so that shouldn't be such a big deal.
"Roy said "I'll like to see more proof."
The monster walked inside a small hotel with Roy. It ripped the head off of the man at the desk. Then, it killed the 2 janitors who were in the room with him. Their screams woke up more people. It went in each of their rooms, and it killed them with ease one by one. A few people were trying to escape, but the monster killed them all before anyone was able to escape the hotel. An elevator full of people arrived at the bottom floor. As soon as it opened, the Friday the 13th Monster butchered them all.
After killing everyone in the hotel, it walked up to Roy.
"Are you finally convinced that this is reality?" the monster asked.
Me: I hate this guy.
"Not really." Roy replied.
"But why? Why the fuck are you being so clueless? How many people do I have to kill?" the monster angrily asked.
Roy said "Well, you're not doing a very good job at convincing me that this is real life. In fact, I'm now more convinced than ever that this is a dream."
Me: Wait until the plane is flying high and boot his ass out. Maybe that will knock some sense into him.
Just then, the monster grabbed him and it carried him to an airport. It walked on a plane with him. The plane was getting ready to leave.
The monster saiid "This plane has 157 people on it. I will kill all of them and so many more unless you admit that this is a dream. Also, they can't hear or see you and me."
Roy said "You'e not doing a good job at convincing me."
The monster said "Okay then. Enjoy the show."
Just then, the monster pointed at the back of the plane and a huge fireball appeared. About 15-20 people were already on fire. Everyone started panicking. The fire was spreading quickly and the fire extinguishers did nothing to put the fire out. One of the passengers got a fire extinguisher and he started spraying the fire.
Me: A monster with manners?
The monster looked at him and said "Sorry sir, but I can't have you putting out the fire."
It shoved him and he fell into the burning section of the plane. The monster piled luggage on him so he couldn't escape and he died. About 25 people were killed now. The monster pointed at the back of the plane again and the fireball grew about 2 times its original size. About 20 more people were burning now. The monster pointed at the back of the plane again and the very back of it was ripped off. People were getting sucked out of the plane. One woman was hanging onto a seat and the monster cut her arms off causing her to get sucked out. The monster grabbed Roy and it took him up to the pilot's seat. The 2 pilots were struggling to keep the plane under control.
Just then, the door was thrown open and the passengers started rushing insde the cabin desperate to escape. The pilots were trying to get them out, but they wouldn't do it. As more of them started rushing into the front of the plane, the pilots were pinned against the front and the plane was locked in a downward angle which was aiming towards the ground. The plane was slowly losing altitude. The monster took Roy to the back of the plane again. Back parts of the plane were getting broken off and more people were getting sucked out since the hole was slowly increasing in size.
"I just thought up a great idea!" said the monster.
It took Roy to the plane wing. It unattached all jet engines and put them to the back of the plane.
Me: At least someone's having fun.
The monster said "Now if someone gets sucked out, they will get crushed by the jet engines. Here, let me demonstrate."
It walked up to a man hanging on for his life and it cut his arms off and he was getting sucked backwards. When he hit the engines, he was crushed into several pieces and his decapitated human body parts then flew outside the plane. About 70 people were killed now. Roy looked down and he could see the ground.
The monster walked up to him and said "Thanks to you, you cost all of these people their lives."
When the plane hit the ground, it was instantly demolished. Fire engulfed all section of the plane and it was getting crushed into dozens of pieces. Some people were blown to bits, some were crushed, and some survived the crash only to get burned to death. Most of the people were missing at least one major body part.
Me: Poor bastard but at least he was dead when he went up in flames.
One man survived the crash and he was trying to escape the plane. A dead body fell down right in front of him. Terrified, he stepped back and tripped. He landed on a sharp piece of debris and it impaled him through his neck. He died almost instantly. Later, the fire caught up to him and he caught on fire and his dead body burned.
The monster took Roy outside the plane so they could watch it burn. It noticed 3 people walking out of it who survived. It pointed to them and they were thrown back into the plane and they broke through the roof. When they did, a fireball came out of the roof.
22 people ran up to the wreckage. The monster pointed at them and they were thrown inside the burning plane too. A fireball rose from the sky where they landed also.
It went inside the wreckage and threw all of their heads down to hell.
"All 157 people died here. Also, those 22 people who came to help died as well. Is this finally enough proof for you?" the monster asked.
Roy said "I have one thing to say about all of this".
The monster asked "Go on and say it".
Me: Seriously? That's what you have to say.
Roy said "This is the longest dream I've ever had before."
The monster angrily said "You have got to be FUCKING kidding me. I've killed like 200 people including your family, many of your friends, and innocent people. How much fucking proof do I need to show to you dipshit? Seriously, FUCK you!"
Before Roy could respond, the monster grabbed him and carried him to New York City. It made itself reappear and it began murdering dozens of people on the streets. It was much faster than all of them so they couldn't escape it. After 15 minutes, it murdered hundreds of people. it turned to a large bunch of people and it pointed at them. All of their heads popped off instantly and they all fell down at once. It took all of their heads and threw them into hell. It then grabbed Roy and carried him far away from New York City.
The monster screamed at him "I killed 3,742 people there. Do you want me to kill more people or are you going to finally pull your head out of your fucking ass?"
Me: This guy is driving me crazy but at least I know I have chicken waiting for me.
"You're doing a horrible job at convincing me" Roy said.
The monster said "I'll kill everyone on the planet then along with all other living things."
The monster then disapeared. As Roy walked around the planet, he noticed that everyone died and their heads were nowhere to be seen. He decided to walk back inside his house and wait for the dream to be over. 11 weeks passed but Roy knew that someday he would eventually wake up.
Meanwhile in Hell
Satan: Is Roy still being a dillusional idiot?
Friday the 13th Monster: Yes, he is very fucking stupid.
Satan: You know, I have a great idea of what we could do with him.
Friday the 13th Monster: What is your idea?
Satan: You're one of the strongest demons out there and since he outsmarted you, maybe we could have him work for us. I could start a new civilization and he could help us kill people from that one.
Friday the 13th Monster: That's a pretty good idea.
Back on Earth
Roy heard a knock at his door.
He opened it and saw Satan standing there.
Me: I'm not so sure this is a good idea.
Satan said "Hello, my name is Satan and I am the king of hell. Anyways, I was very impressed of how you outsmarted Friday the 13th Monster. Anyways, I was thinking of having you work for me. I could create a new civilization and you could help us brutally murder the people in it for fun. It's a pretty fun job. Once you're ready to start it, hop through this portal with me and I'll train you in becoming a demon from hell. I will be the leader of hell. Friday the 13th Monster would be 2nd in charge and you could be 3rd in charge."
Roy said "You know, this is one crazy dream."
Satan said "No, this is actually reality so come and follow me, alright?"
Roy said "I wonder when this weird dream will ever end."
Me: Dude I think this guy actually thinks he's still dreaming.
Satan said "No, this isn't a- Oh wait, I see what you're doing. You're just playing a joke on me also. I see. You're pretty funny. However, we should probably start soon."
Roy said "Prove to me that this isn't a dream."
Satan said "Friday the 13th Monster already showed you enough proof by ending the world. You would've woken up by now if this was a dream. Joke's over so let's start now."
Roy said "Wow, this is one weird dream."
Me: Join the club Satan.
Satan said "I'm not fucking around. You're really starting to annoy me. Now get your ass over here, alright?"
Roy said "You can't hurt me because this is a dream stupid."
Me: Ding. Ding. Ding.
Satan said "That's it. You're not brilliant at all. You really are a fucking moron. Now prepare to die bitch!"
Satan then cut Roy's head off and killed him. His blood spilled all over the place.
Satan screamed "Fuck you bitch. That's for being such a dumb fuck. Have fun in the afterlife you piece of cock sucking shit." Satan then hopped through the portal and went back to hell.
Suddenly, Roy woke up.
Me: What the fuck?
"Wow", Roy said, "that was one weird dream".
Another masterpiece written by: BrianBerta
Me: Barbara Desmond