Another thing you learn is that you shouldn't struggle for a binder because you can end up dead. I was disappointed at the lack of a cat fight. Bitch I want a cat fight and all I got was a little struggling and a dead chick. It is much safer to just chill in your recliner with a book or the binder full of information about the person you're impersonating. Make sure you study regularly so you don't end up looking like an idiot when you call your son by the wrong name or forget that you helped pick out a gift for someone else even if that someone else is the mortal enemy you want payback on because she won the guy instead of you. Bitch Maggie was married to Mickey for years so thinking you could win his heart is pretty dumb.
Being in prison doesn't stop you from having a future after all look at Hope. She was in prison for who knows what because I wasn't watching at the time. I'm still adjusting to Hope being in Salem without Bo. He could be dead for all I know or trapped on an island again. I forget who mentioned it but apparently I missed another island adventure. The last one was full of the dead residents of Salem. I swear this town has the biggest number of back from the dead residents in all of soap land. Hope is a cop again and she has Rafe. I don't know how I feel about that even though I kind of sensed it coming way back when I was watching before. I wonder if Bo is dead again. The times when he was on without Hope she was dead.
It is okay to talk to yourself but be careful where you do it. You might be overheard. Bonnie you were caught going on about how the bitch was going to pay. If you keep that up Maggie is going to figure out that you're not who you're pretending to be. Also of course Maggie would be sad for Lucas after all he's family and going from one guy to the other in a blink of an eye is kinda suspicious since it sounds like Lucas and Adrienne were pretty solid even though it seems totally strange to me. I'm no stranger to strange couples after all I did watch Passions where they had Edna and Norma. It was totally bizarre but I ended up loving those two because they were both totally insane and absolutely hilarious. Hey Lucas don't chat about the shenanigans that went down when you woke up with a corpse in the bed. I guess it wasn't such a sobering experience since you picked up another drink. Maybe you can hang out with Brady who fell off the wagon too but he seems to be doing a better job at showing the world that he's hunky dory. He did threaten that judge into doing the right thing although it is kind of weird that Nicole finally has a child. That is one thing that annoys me about soaps the whole formula of every couple getting together leads to marriage and kids or kids and marriage to someone else. Everyone doesn't want kids. Everyone doesn't want marriage. I won't hold my breath on an ace character being revealed on Days.
Gabi showed us what not to do. Okay I get it your brother is on the hook for shady shit. That doesn't mean you should go to the club where I'm guessing the shady shit went down. I wonder if this Dario is the same Dario from before. I guess finding out that your husband who might be your ex or not quite yet has popped the question to someone else sucks big time. That is pretty tacky to have your announcement in the papers without telling the person who it would personally hurt. It is weird to think of these two as a couple but I guess there are slim pickings in Salem. I feel bad for the girl. First she ends up getting knocked up by Will who turns out to be gay and now she's getting pushed aside by possibly the only good Dimera out there although he is slimy. I don't really like this one but I really don't like Abby. Good lord I don't like her and I've seen some shitty recasting from this soap over the years.
Another thing you shouldn't do is accept mail that isn't your mail. That isn't a good idea especially if the mail in question totally busts the shady as fuck commissioner that your other brother and his girlfriend are trying to bring down. Okay so you signed for it which was okay since the guy is your brother. What you don't do is go inside the shady club and open the package. Bitch take it home where you won't be caught by the guy that's on the tape that tonally busts his nuts to the wall. Now your ass is in trouble but at least this guy got a better story on this show since he was totally unmemorable on The Bold And The Beautiful. It just hit me that I think every member of the Hernandez family has been in jail at least I think so although I'm not totally sure about Rafe. He was held captive in the basement in a cell.
Well I'm dumb because the guy who I had been calling Trevor is actually named Trip. Really? Seriously? That's a bit dumb even for soaps where you have a Ridge and a Thorne lurking around. I wonder if he's out of the basement. Maybe that will be my next soap after all On Demand is a wonderful and magical thing. Steve has another kid which amuses me because it turns out that John and Abe all have an extra kid too. I wonder if it all happened at the same time. Hey I'm your son. Hey I'm your son. Hey I'm your daughter. I'm thinking Vanessa who I believe is playing Valerie is the mom of Lonnie who is Abe's daughter. Brandon was mentioned which makes me wonder if he's in Salem. I've only been watching for two weeks and hello Monday there's golf instead which is super exciting because golf is the funnest sport to watch ever. No it isn't. In case you missed it that would be sarcasm big time. Kayla with her crazy I cut my own hair because I was inspired by Sheridan doesn't seem to be a fan of Trip. I guess Kayla doesn't see that Steve and Trip are identical hair twins sort of.
I wonder if John and Marlena will escape the loony bin. Are we supposed to believe that Hattie was smart enough to tell an orderly that John was suffering from DID? Why couldn't they just say hey fingerprint us and DNA test us since that would clear up the whole mess. Didn't they wonder why Hattie looked exactly like Marlena? Oh yeah I forgot in this town people forget that there are a few people in town that look like other people who were in this town. Roman and Chris could be twins but Chris was gone years ago and I doubt he'll be back. Everyone seems to forget that Adrienne and Bonnie are identical even though a lot of people were around at the time like Lucas. Maybe Mimi needs to come back to town to bust her crazy mama. I do give Lucas credit for realizing that things were different with Adrienne but that gets overshadowed by him being drunk as a skunk at the time. I wonder if Justin will notice anything. Raise your hand if you could give a fuck about Claire liking Theo? I'm pretty sure they are living in the place where Rex, Mimi, Shawn, and Belle were living although I could be wrong.
If you kill someone don't share that information with other people. Isn't it funny when the rich folks all live together? Somehow Eric is living in the K mansion. At least Henderson is around although it was his day off and Bonnie wasn't too thrilled about having to answer the door. Oops a corpse was found in your bed. Will Hope be the one to figure it out? Bitch you were around when Bonnie was around because hello your kids were in school together. If I was Nicole I'd be worried about Victor knowing about her killing Deimos although Victor seems fine with the dude being dead. Another relative that popped up out of nowhere which always happens. I'm guessing nephew although I suppose it could be son. It wouldn't be the first time another man raised his kid. It can be hard to keep track. Hell I think Nicole nearly told Eric about killing Deimos since he was one of the guys arrested for that murder. Yep he was in the getting arrested for Deimos's murder along with Chad and Sonny. At least they got engaged but a round of applause to Eric for shaving that godawful beard. I'm still iffy on him being Eric. I guess when someone else steps in after Jensen Ackles they all just pale in comparison. I preferred my idea where they got Jensen to come back for a couple episodes to kill his character off in one of those rare instances where the person actually stays dead.