I don't know why Hanna didn't have the others team up to get DNA from Noel so they could do a paternity test. Maybe he wouldn't have escaped but I have to admit that when his head rolled down the stairs I laughed because it was funny. Does that make me a sociopath? At least she called Mona who gave her tips on lying to perfect her story but one person didn't buy it.
Caleb had a few odd moments in this episode. Yes it was kinda adorable what he was saying about Hanna and oh shit it looks like I could be Hanna's ugly sister since I'm pretty much the same way as her. Yep Caleb reclaimed his brain and realized it was Hanna he wanted to be with. Why he couldn't do that without boinking Spencer I do not know. They get all fleshy and hello I found Caleb's lack of a reaction to Hanna's scars to be strange. I got to say it but is he seeing them for the first time? I just expected something but he gave nothing and there was that odd scene with Mona when they were very cozy knew what the other had in their drink. They probably did that to fuck with your head which they often do with Aria.
When I saw that commercial for Marlene's new show I was saying out loud that hell no would I be watching that. Watching this show has turned me off of this woman. Shows shouldn't make you end up checking into a loony bin. Wow an answer was given for a small thing but at least it was an answer. So Ali had a pregnancy scare and now she's supposedly pregnant. Oh shit what if she was inseminated while she was locked up in whatever the hell the name of that place is? Someone stole Emily's eggs so maybe she was implanted with them with who knows who as the father. Or is Ali lying? I just don't trust her. The bitch is clearly there since she just decides now that Paige's back in the picture to make a move.
Okay this a mini rant but I'll try to keep it short. It does annoy me when people claim Paige tried to kill Emily. I'm pretty sure that a murder attempt involves a person trying to actually kill a person instead of dunking a head for seconds followed by letting her up and dunking her for seconds again before letting her up. If she kept Emily's head down in the water and had to have someone literally pull her away from Emily I would call that a murder attempt. Obviously Paige shouldn't have done that but she was lashing out because Emily was at a point in her life where she was out and confident while Paige was still struggling. Yes I do find it odd that Paige came back when she did but I have to agree she made a good point about Ali pulling on Emily's strings. Ali makes a move when Paige pops back into the picture when the bitch should have been apologizing to Paige and all of her other victims for that matter.
I have to question Ali's motives because it only seems like she makes a move on Emily when she wants to suck Emily in. Ali kissed Emily when she wanted someone on her side because the other girls weren't following Ali's orders. Now she kisses Emily when Paige shows up. It would be totally different if Paige hadn't come back and Ali kissed Emily but that didn't happen so I question it because it just doesn't seem like Ali is bisexual because she's never shown signs of being into girls and every time she did something with Emily it was all about pulling her strings and playing with her doll. She does have some things in common with her cousin. It also doesn't help that they played that badly remake of that Police song that played during the scene with the two girls along with Ezra and Aria that is about stalking. Yep that just screams romance. If Ali really changed I would expect her to make an effort with Paige to at least be civil to her. It's not like I'm expecting the two to be best friends. It was also weird that Emily invited her yet ignored Paige. I think they are trying to make us think Paige is AD but I don't think so. I think she's just a red herring although I could be wrong. It could be Lucas.
They are also making Mona look guilty because she was last seen with Noel before he got free. Did she let him go? I think she dated him briefly. Sydney was called up to pretend to be Jenna which allowed the blind girl to go to that creepy blind school. Of course the school for the blind is creepy on this show and what's up with the baby dolls upstairs and why was Emily providing the knowledge? It was beyond stupid of her to leave her cellphone like she did which split up the girls. Suspicious much? Or it could be stupidity. Doesn't she have a pocket she could put it in? Did she really need her cellphone? You would think these girls would hate phones at this point. You would also think that people would know not to screw around with these girls since between the five of them they've killed four people. Watch it Emily one more kill and you're an accidental serial killer.
Why didn't anyone watch the rest of the videos on that damn flash drive? Who else was on it besides Noel? Oh well he doesn't have to worry about anything anymore now that he's all headless and dead. Yes I am disappointed that Jenna who had a gun didn't trip on his head and fall. Yes Aria that's a real head going down the stairs this time. I'm fuzzy on who shot Spencer. Was it Jenna or AD? Who the fuck is AD? Does anyone really expect to get all the answers in ten more episodes? Who grabbed it? Was it Mary? I kind of want her to be a good guy but I just don't know with her considering her family isn't exactly squeaky clean. After Spencer gets show Mary decides to announce that she's Spencer's mom. So who is the father and more importantly why was she getting pregnant while she was hospitalized unless it was like Cece's where she was able to go out and about along with getting a job and going to college.
Maybe Mary is working with AD since she knocked out Jenna who got dragged off. She's now with AD and is just as clueless as the rest of us. Damn I wish she could see and tell us who the fuck this person is. Of course when it gets revealed it won't make the least bit sense since the last reveal didn't make any sense. Oh I'm going to torment you because it's fun. AD seems to think Spencer is dead because the little Spencer figure went into a coffin but things aren't looking too good for Toby and Yvonne either. Was he talking on his cellphone while driving again? Not exactly setting a good example Officer Toby who is totally Marco's source on what Spencer likes. I'm just as confused as ever and now it turns out that Nicole is still alive and kicking on the news with Ezra hugging and kissing her. I'm just confused about the whole rewind thing but I guess Ezra has one of those gadgets that allows you to do that. The whole thing with that was just weird. Ezra was acting weird and didn't want Aria to pick him up from the airport and he didn't go on his plane only to later be shown with Nicole who magically showed up. Oh well I'm just glad to get a nice long break from this insanity.
Give the guy a guitar and put him in a green sweater. I'll try not to but I can't help but think that Jason is channeling Kurt Cobain with that hair. Hmm wasn't there an oppsie in that flashback of Aria and Jason? I think his hair wasn't supposed to be that long or something. I don't claim to have a photographic memory. I'm just trying to make my way through this last season that better be the last season since I don't think I could take another season.
I love Hanna but she was being very stupid in this episode. Always bring backup. At least she finally calls in Mona after she failed miserably at drugging Noel. How was she going to get him to her lair? Next week it looks like she's going to be channeling Faith with the torture with Mona along for the ride. At least she doesn't have to drag Noel too far since she caught him at the cabin and hit him with a two by four. Yep he's living in the cabin where a flash drive was found. Has that word changed again? I don't claim to be smart and Spencer certainly wasn't when she didn't do one of the following make a copy of what's on it or take it out and put it in your pocket when the lights go out. Maybe Kira stopped by and made the power go out.
Poor Aria found out at least I think she found out that Nicole's dead so she's thinking she was the consolation prize. Why did he need to go there? I get him wanting to know if she's alive or not but there was no need to go there on such a flimsy find. A car was found and there might be survivors. But I have to say that Aria thinks better when Ezra isn't around although it was easy to make that chick at city hall or wherever they went to feel sorry for Kurt er I mean Jason because a lot of shit has happened to the poor guy over the years. Is he over the horror of sleeping with his sibling/cousin? It would be too cruel not to mention stupid to make Aria another relative of his since there's been enough incest although cousins are legal but in my opinion no less icky and incesty. I tend to think AD knows exactly who she or he is so I really doubt it is one of the girls although I could be wrong. The records showed nothing except for Noel's dad who in the show is a judge. I can only remember him being a cross dresser in the books not his actual career since he wasn't really in it and Noel was in it quite a bit. I think the taking of Aria and Noel's files were just a way to fuck with our heads.
I do think Noel is involved but I doubt he's AD. I can see him having a beef with Ali but not the girls. Well I guess Aria since he wasn't too happy when he found out that she was with Ezra. Maybe Hanna can get some answers out of Noel although I won't hold my breath since the episodes have been lacking in the answers department. There has to be a reason for Paige and Jenna showing up when they did and we do know that Jenna dated Noel. She also knew Elliot's real name because she was in on the scam to get Charlotte out of Radley. Also I'm pretty sure that Hanna found a file on her when she accidentally stumbled across a shrink in the broom closet while she was doing community service to pay for Sean's car at the dentist. Now she's going to be holding a gun which means she can see or she needs to have that gun taken away because a blind girl with a gun is the most dangerous thing in the world. I'm wondering if she might be legally blind instead of totally blind.
They are certainly making Paige look sketchy with her spying on Sabrina. I wonder why she's back. I'm not one of the people who hate her character but it doesn't make sense since she wants to work at the place where the bitch who made her life miserable works? That's just odd. Maybe she has a weird fixation like Beth did with Sheridan on Passions. Maybe there's something going on and of course there's the possibility of Lucas but I don't really like that one because I like Lucas. I like his friendship with Hanna and if there wasn't a Caleb I wouldn't be opposed to Hanna getting together with him but of course she's going to get back together with Caleb although I wish they'd stop with the relationships and just get down to figuring who the fuck AD is and who the fuck killed Charlotte because I'm just kinda annoyed at this point. The books didn't have a new A every ten seconds. There was the first one and then the next one who had helpers.
It looks like Noel was the other person in the dollhouse and possibly the guy that showed up during the prom. The flash drive had video from the Dollhouse but I'm wondering if the statute has run out since the only thing as far as I know that doesn't have one is murder. Does he have it because he was there and part of it or is he being framed? Spencer wanted to go to the police but they didn't because Hanna was being dumb although Noel does look guilty as hell when he threw away Sarah's phone. How dumb was it when Hanna said she knew he killed Sarah. Really? Seriously? You're going to confront the guy you think killed someone without any backup? Great idea. Spencer takes another pick at the video of her and the lights go out but the idiot decides to keep the drive in the computer instead of keeping it with her. A tree busts in through the window and someone comes in and steals the drive while Marco shows up.
Well the one constant is my confusion. Oddly it rained after Pretty Little Liars ended last night. I thought hey we're getting an answer about what happened to that party they went to back in 1902 but nope that was just a dream. It sounds plausible so maybe it was an answer in dream form. That's good for Caleb since I'm sure he would prefer to not be run down by a creepy ass Noel Kahn who they are practically spotlighting as AD.
1. Noel's file is stolen. Noel has files.
2. Noel wrote the same message on Ezra's car.
3. Noel's creepy as fuck.
4. Carla said the evil bastard was very close by and voila Noel shows up.
5. He is the same age as the girls which is the right age for the second kid since they at least made it clear that Charlotte/Charlie whothefuckever was first.
Carla showed up and told Hanna that she's right. So are they really making it so obvious? Hanna and Carla had a moment where they seemed to be connecting psychically. Does this mean Hanna has psychic powers? Now she's going a bit crazy. She should at least call Mona to help her out in her little newspapered place that reminds me of an episode of Snapped where the wife put wrapping paper on the windows while her husband's body was shoved in a tote in the closet. I don't think he was dismembered. I bet Hanna's going to get in trouble big time. You always need backup or she could at least call Veronica Mars to help her out. At least the other girls are trying to keep an open mind about who AD could be instead of jumping on the next suspect although Hanna is pretty convinced and they are certainly making it seem like he is. Note the creepy as fuck comment above.
Aria and Spencer go see Dr C who is the dude that delivered Mary's babies. Uh why doesn't Ali just ask the woman? Until Jason popped by the woman was living with her. Instead they find the dude's daughter. I couldn't help but think of Supernatural when the daughter called and told them to bring her dad some whiskey. Made me think of Dean bringing booze to Rufus. I knew the perv seemed familiar. It was the voice and I was right. That's Holtz being all creepy and doctory. He remembers that the first kid was a boy. Okay it is possible that Charlotte isn't the baby but she is the right age. Maybe Charles is really Wren. That would make more sense than a psycho transgender who magically got the surgery while in a mental institution. Also they could have done a great story that didn't have the transgender be all crazy and homicidal. I'm not sure what the point of going to Dr Creepy was aside from Spencer having the best line of the episode in the scene. I'm also confused about why Spencer decided to go down memory lane with the photo albums. Is it because of Toby taking what's her face to somewhere that isn't Rosewood to start a family?
What the hell is up with the Principal? Is he on happy pills that make everything splendid or did what's her name slip something into the danishes? I honestly can't remember her damn name. Tabitha? I don't know. Principal Splendid tells Emily about an opening at the school for a swim coach. Since when does he like Emily? Since when is everything splendid? Who the hell uses the word splendid? Maybe splenda but not splendid. Ali goes back to teaching and of course something doesn't make sense when she walks into the room to find her class celebrating Apalooza. Uh when the shit was going down these kids were between 8-10 over that two year period so five years later they remember this shit and decide to welcome the teacher back with black hoodies? I didn't pay attention to shit when I was that young so clearly someone paid them to do it. I'd don a black hoodie if I was paid.
Emily decides to go for the job but she asks Ali if it is okay. Um I'm confused about that. My confusion is a constant while watching this show. Why wouldn't it be okay? They are friends. When Emily shows up at the school she runs into Paige which is another confusing moment. I don't object to her coming back I'm just confused about why she'd want to especially when she's interviewing for a position that would have her in daily contact with the bitch that made high school miserable for her. I thought she was afraid of Ali so why come back? It was just strange. So of course Paige and Emily go out for drinks and I get confused again. They were either drinking out of candle holders or they were drinking out of glasses that had no stems which is weird. It was a bit creepy when she was spying on Emily and what's her name. What the hell is her name? Lemon Bar Chick? Maybe she's related to Pam Douglas.
Aria comes clean about the phone call and I was annoyed with Ezra's reaction. He was totally cool with the other stuff and didn't think hey this call could totally be bogus and courtesy of AD. It's not like someone was claiming to be Nicole. No one said anything. So the trip to Tuscany is off and poor Aria turned in the tickets so she could buy Ezra one to wherever the hell he went. Um why did he need to go there? I can understand him wanting to get news but really was it necessary for him to go there because someone found a car that might mean people might be being held captive. At least he came back to kiss her but now if he comes back with the news that what's her name being dead it will look like Aria won by default. Nicole? Heed Emily's words of wisdom Ezra because that's not something that often happens since all too often these girls are beyond dumb.
How many years did it take for Jason to remember he bought the house from the unseen parents of Maya? Bravo for remembering. Hey I wonder if Caleb's jealous of Jason's hair. When Tyler was on Days his hair was a lot longer and it was kinda creepy how much he and Shelley looked like twins even though their characters kinda were sorta involved. Man Jason must have taken the slowest plane in the history of planes. He should have dropped by Pine Valley because they have super fast planes that magically get you from one location to the next in the blink of an eye.
Jason didn't give any sort of reaction to Aunt Mary other than to tell her to get the hell out of his house. Hooray for finally remembering. I always got the impression he was close to Jessica and that Ali was closer to her dad Kenneth. Where is that asshole anyway? Please have him dead. A girl can dream. Wow an answer from eons ago was answered. Mary was in Aunt Carol's house when Jason came to see his mom and she told him to leave. Like we didn't already know someone was in the house. What about who was in the house when Jason had just bought the house and was acting sketchy? It turns out that Jessica spent a lot of time in Carol's storm cellar. Are they in Kansas? Anyhoo the girls check it out and find a bunch of files but not before the Aria and Noel files were taken. Hmm I wonder what that means.
Yes I know people are going on about how hot Noel is but frankly I find her super creepy. Hanna and Spencer got a look at that for themselves while they were hiding under the bed when he interrupted their snooping. They are making it look like Noel is guilty as sin and it certainly doesn't help that he's being creepy and Sarah ends up dead right after he shows up only to disappear before showing up again. Why couldn't they write in the cross dressing like they did in the book only with Noel instead of his dad which is who did it in the books. So in typical soapy fashion another kid shows up. I wonder which son was cut out of Mary. Is it Charlotte formerly Charles or is it another son? I'm sure people are thinking that Aria and Noel are twins or something. Hello they were kinda involved for a few seconds and besides I want Ella to be Aria's mom since Holly and Lucy look the most alike out of all the moms and daughters.
I understand Jason being suspicious of Mary but it is kind of hard to not feel for her after hearing what's happened to her. Yep it is totally looking like she's the Courtney while Jessica is Ali although we have yet to see how off the charts crazy Jessica is. So far she hasn't come close to the crazy in the books. Bitch was crazy with a capital C and a capital Z even though I hate capitalizing letters that shouldn't be. Color me not surprised that Jason hooked up with Aria. They did have a moment in some season that could have been two. Hell if I know. I think it was right before the shed of Aria pictures was found. Oh yeah that's not creepy at all. At least Jason thought to bring backup. Yes we should be weary of Mary but at the same time I don't think she would have gone as far as Elliot did if she'd been in charge. I'm surprised Ali never had a conversation with the woman about the time she scared her niece to death while dressed up as her dead mother. Just because Jessica buried her daughter alive doesn't mean Ali didn't feel anything for the woman and it turns out that she figured out that Ali was alive and was trying to find her.
I love how professional the police are in Rosewood. Nice touch of having Sarah's arm fall off the gurney. Um don't you usually zip the dead body into a body bag to avoid that? Jenna was crying like she lost the love of her life. It was a bit over the top. I'm starting to wonder if she's cursed after all her friends or more than friends keep end up getting killed. I believe Sarah is number four. Ooh she's like the Tom of Rosewood. Tom is a character on Hollyoaks who has people dying around him all the time so he gets tossed over to someone else who takes him in until someone else dies and the cycle continues. Since Jenna had her glasses and was looking at the girls I wondered if the bitch can see. I go back and forth on that. Okay I get Toby being annoyed that Jenna put the moves on him but when he saw her he acted like it was something more. Is there more to it? Bitch you said Toby's dad is like your dad which makes Toby your brother and off limits. At least Jenna got a massage. I'm a little jealous. Who wouldn't want a massage by Caleb? Good work trio. He has many skills. He's like a male Xena only in modern times.
Color me not shocked that Toby was building the house for Spencer. Yvonne got beat up so Toby called Spencer. That's a great idea. I'm disappointed that we didn't get to see her get beat up. What's the point of this anyway? At least Emily and Pam got to have some fun. It was Pam's birthday and the girl looks fabulous. Why didn't they have another round of Drunk Moms Club? I could see her hanging out with Ella and maybe Ashley more so than Veronica but who knows she should let her hair down too. Noel was all creepy and lurky while Pam and Emily were trying to eat and hello someone is getting married and is noisy. They offered drinks and invited them to join in on the fun and guess what Pam made some friends. You go girl.
Even though I'm indifferent about Aria and Ezra getting married I have to admit that I'd jump at the whole going to Tuscany thing. Couldn't they just invite the girls to go along? Ezra didn't seem to like the idea of planning a wedding. Dude you're good. The two of you together isn't creepy anymore so be all Billy and Mary Kay who are strangely normal despite how illegal and disturbing the relationship between them began. At least Aria was a few years older and Ezra was younger too since I think she was in her thirties when she got it on with a thirteen year old. I'm thinking the wedding is going to be put on hold with the FBI arriving with news that Nicole might not be as dead as everyone thought. Hey there's a chance for Emily to hook up with a cop. Maybe the lady fed swings both way. That girl does get around since she's done more bed hopping than all of the others combined. Okay maybe not quite but close enough. Things aren't looking good in that preview. Did I see Caleb hit by a car with a creepy Noel giving his creepy glare while Hanna hovers over Caleb's body that hopefully isn't dead?
Yes my brain went to the Winchesters. Am I going crazy or did Hanna's purse shrink? She walked into the coffee shop with a huge bag and later on when the burner phone rang the purse was small. Who knows with this crazy town because shovels magically appear when you need to bury a body. I didn't notice Hanna and Spencer carrying shovels and good going girls on digging up the body so someone can video you doing it.
Ali took the whole we traded you for Hanna thing pretty well. Hanna's life was on the line and she was being tortured so they did what they had to do. I'm still confused. How did Cece pick the name Drake if she had no idea that Mary was her mother? I kind of believe Mary. She's kinda like Courtney in the books while Ali was bat shit crazy. I could be wrong but for now I am believing her as much as you can when you can't really trust anyone. Does that make sense? When I first heard the voice I thought it kind of sounded like Wren. Who the hell knows? For all we know it could be Jessica after all people don't always stay dead in this town since a certain someone loves to embrace the ultimate in soapiness.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Aria didn't mention the phone call from the dead chick. What's her name? Nicole? She did come clean about AD which is good. Why not let the guys know after all they were involved before? It helps to have more brains in the mix because these girls can be seriously stupid. She finally said yes and Hanna decided to throw her fake diamond away. Why did she do that? Fake or not they can be pretty. I like shiny things and I sure as hell can't afford a diamond unless the diamond is the size of the head of a pin. I'm right there with you Hanna since I don't like numbers either and I'm right there with Caleb in his confusion. I think everyone is confused. If you're not confused I'm confused about your lack of confusion because nothing makes sense.
I don't know what to think about Jenna and Sara working together but I'm sure no one was sad when Sara got killed at the end of the episode. Yes there was cheering coming from me. I couldn't help myself since she was pretty pointless but we did find out that Jenna was buddies with Charlotte. Anyone else confused? Nothing with the whole triangle between Elliot, Charlotte, and Ali makes any sense at all. Wouldn't Charlotte be in Jessica's will? It was nice to see Jason in the preview kicking Aunt Mary out of his house. He finally remembered he bought the house back from Maya's family. I guess Jason was off growing his hair. I bet Caleb will be jealous. At least Emily tried to snoop but she forgot about Jenna's seeing eye dog. I don't always believe Jenna's blind. I go back and forth on it.
I wonder if the fake cop that attacked Ali was the same one that attacked her before. I knew that cop was fake since they did show the guy putting on the mask at least I assume that's what he was doing. Like Rosewood knows how to protect someone. I think Ali would have had better luck with Pepe the dog but who knows what happened to him. Maybe he ran away after he discovered Jessica in the yard. At least we know that Hanna did kill someone but not who it was because no one bothered to check to see if the guy was wearing a mask. Come on Spencer you're supposed to be the smart one but she's the genius that told a cop that she just buried a body. Well she probably has nothing to worry about because this town never solves a murder. Hell they can't even identify bodies.
Isn't there a I want to say James Patterson book called Along Comes A Spider? I still don't know what to make of Mary. It's like I kinda want to trust/believe her but this show has me so confused that I don't know what to think anymore. Tuesday is the night of massive confusion.
Ali's been released from the loony bin and Aunt Mary is moving in. Uh where is Kenneth? Hey dude do you give a fuck about your daughter? I also wonder about Jason. Is he really away or is he being held captive? Maybe AD is holding him somewhere. Who the hell knows with this show? I really think they've been watching General Hospital since that soap really did abuse the whole magical face that makes someone else look and sound exactly like someone else. Oh how nice Aria brought a casserole. Did Piper er I mean Ella make it since I really doubt Aria did.
I think I have the family sitch with the D clan sorta figured out. Mary gave birth to Chuck while she was in the loony bin so Kenneth and Jessica adopted him. Here's where I get confused. How did she know her son was really her daughter? Maybe she lingered around the edges and found out along the way that her kid was transgender and somehow got some incredible doctors to do a fabulous job with the transformation all while in the loony bin and going to college and boinking her brother/cousin. I guess Ali was beyond being shocked about anything after the whole Cece reveal since she didn't really have a reaction to Aunt Mary being her mother's identical twin. We know they didn't know about her but with Cece being born there had to be a sister out there but still the woman did pretend to be the girl's dead mother so you'd think there would be a hey bitch what the hell moment.
Now I'm wondering if Archie is even dead since the one that took Ali out of the hospital could have been someone else wearing the mask. Someone needs to check the hole to check to see if he's still there and to see if he's wearing a mask. For all we know it could be Kenneth. I'm also confused about why Ali was being taken out of the hospital if the dude figured out that she didn't kill Charlotte. I'm so damn confused that a new word needs to be created for this level of confusion. Now Ali's broke which kinda make me giggle a little. Sorry but her bitch popped out too when she made that comment about Hanna being upset. Bitch she killed someone and has had the week from hell so shut the hell up and she got snippy when Aria had to leave to get proposed to. Color me not shocked about that since I figured that would be what happened. It does look like she's going to say no which is smart since they haven't been together in five years and only got back together five seconds ago. Uh oh Ezra got a call from his dead girlfriend. Does he have the same phone?
Caleb's still doing his laundry. I'm thinking he went to Ravenswood to see his dad since I think Jamie moved there. Maybe Caleb could ask Carla to do a seance and get some dish on Elliot. For all I know she came to Rosewood and pulled Archie out of the ground like a carrot like she did with Ali. At least Spencer said something smart this episode when she told Hanna to figure out her feelings or something like that. I did want to slap Hanna because she was annoying me. Bitch your friend broke the code. Isn't it hoes before bros? Why couldn't they be friends? Oops I forgot only the lesbian gets to be friends with a person that has a penis. Emily and Spencer really get around. I half expect the two to hook up at some point after getting a little tipsy. Maybe she could invite Spencer over to help her with her drink studying. Hey Emily I'm pretty sure you can make up a test. How dumb was it to try to get into the room after the test started? Aw AD did her a favor like A did for Aria when supposedly Mona was in charge.
Now the girls are suspicious of Jenna who I've always been suspicious of. Bitch does have a motive. She's always been lurking in the shadows. Aria sweetie you're a liar too along with all of your friends. I'm just glad I wasn't eating or drinking anything when Aria called Jenna a liar. Jenna is certainly up to something and now she's best friends with Sara. Looks like they did a little retail therapy/bonding. Does Sara have her name embroidered on her glove in braille? How in the hell did Jenna know it was her? Can she see again? Now Noel's popped up again because Jenna always has to have two accomplices. Maybe she has a thing about the number three. Why is Sara even around? I will admit that her hair looked a little better. Shit couldn't her hair have grown back in five years? I half expect the three to have a threesome since Jenna seems to swing both ways.
I've heard of a burner phone but I've never heard of a burner apartment. Is that a thing? Note to self: Let someone else pull down the Murphy bed just in case it turns out to be a real head that rolls out. Did someone sleep with that thing under the pillow? Aria seemed to be quite fond of it after she calmed down since she was sitting on it. How in the hell did Emily think to shove her hand down the sink to find the passports etc? Is she a plumber on weekends? The plan to lure Jenna or whoever to the apartment didn't work because Toby showed up. Hmm I wonder about that. He knows where Caleb is but he's being a good friend unlike Spencer who broke the code. Someone is in Baltimore blasting down the road wearing Elliot's face or someone that's using his credit card. Why did Spencer lie about knowing Marco? What was the point? She's not with Toby. She's not with anyone so what does it matter? She doesn't have to tell Toby oh yeah we met and nearly banged in the elevator.
Aria continues to be smart without Ezra although she should have mentioned going to the cops before they started digging the hole. At least the girls got a workout during the night from hell that wouldn't end. Why did Emily work twice? I'm confused. Well that's not new since confusion and this show go hand in hand.
I guess when you've been buried alive you get super powers since Ali got up and plopped down on top of the freshly dug grave and put her hand down and somehow magically pulled up Elliot er Archer Dingleberry's key card. How did she do that? Aria took Ali back to the hospital and thank the gods she just came right out and asked Ali if she killed Charlotte. What would her motive be? Archie confuses me. Why get involved with Ali when he was already involved with Charlotte? Aria tied down Ali and put on the Hannibal Lector mask. How creepy was it when Ali had an unexpected visit from Mary saying I'm taking care of you now or something like that. I don't claim to have a photographic memory.
This time I felt like slapping Spencer. Stop being such a bitch to Hanna. It isn't her fault that Caleb still has feelings for her although he did sound sincere during that chained door confession right before he decided to grab all of his clothes and go. Maybe he needs to do laundry. He might have been down to his last outfit. Is the proposal actually connected to marriage since there is more than one kind? My guess is that Ezra will come back with a ring. I might vomit a little if Caleb proposes to Spencer. Dude you said you liked her and that's the wrong L word. A random thought entered my head that it would be funny if Paige popped up and popped the question to Emily just as she was getting ready for a date with Sabrina.
Of course things went pear shaped when they lost the car but wait a second it is Mona to the rescue since she has some connection that allowed her to fix Lucas's window lickety split. Good on you Mona since no one else is going to say anything nice. Come on girls I think you can forgive her and admit that she's a big help. I was glad that Mona and Hanna had some alone time. If she can forgive Mona for the whole hitting her with a car thing I think the others can too since none of Mona's hi-jinks landed any of the other girls in the hospital at least not that I can recall. Hanna found her gold bracelet and Mona found the burner phone and hello look who's calling him. I've never trusted Jenna.
When Jenna walked into the Radley all that tapping might as well been her singing I'm back bitches. At least she gave us Elliot's real name. Hello Archer Dingleberry or Dunglemen or something like that. I wonder what happened between her and Toby since he wasn't happy to see her. I guess she's been getting all the gossip from her buddy Archie. Toby said something about three years ago so there's something he's pissed about. Jenna mentioned the blown up house and I'm thinking shit it's been five years haven't they rebuilt it yet? I guess there's just a big hole. So where do Mama and Poppa C live? Maybe in Florida? I wonder if Elliot has been dipping his wick in Jenna's candlestick too. Gods the dude is like Peter Hastings. Ali better get tested since who knows how many women he's been screwing.
Instead of doing her job Spencer decided to get drunk and nearly get it on in the elevator with Marco. Did I mention that I wanted to slap her during this episode? Often I feel like slapping Emily but this time it was all Spencer. Emily had to pick her up and take her home before going back to work since apparently she lives there now. At least Emily has a date to look forward to. Color me not surprised that it was Mona that figured out that Hanna wasn't engaged anymore. I hope to see more of Mona. Hey Toby you need to get a pair of sunglasses so you can perfect your Horatio. The hands on the hips look pretty good but you could use some practice. Archie wasn't even a doctor. Color me not shocked since this town is ridiculous. I wonder if Wren is a doctor since in this town you can become a cop over a weekend.
Last week blew. This week was better. Ali decided to try out her wrestling skills on Elliot and put up quite a fight before he gave her a sedative and Hannibal Lectored her up. I guess Freedman didn't hear that scuffle since he told the girls Elliot was taking good care of his wife. Dude that would be your cue to realize that he shouldn't be doing that since you're not supposed to treat family members.
Wow they did actual thinking in this episode but it didn't last since the brain needed to be recharged by the end when they went all stupid again. I think it was Aria brought up the whole maybe Ali didn't do it thing which is what they should be thinking. I don't know why they never wondered about Jason who is gone but supposedly he spoke to Spencer or did he. When Ali went on maternity leave on Days they replaced her with a guy who played Stan. She did a bunch of voice overs so it was almost like she wasn't gone at all so can Spencer be sure she spoke to him? This show has made me paranoid but watching Snapped and shows on Investigation Discovery don't help when it comes to paranoia but they are just so good and addictive. People are crazy.
Aria is better when Ezra's out of town. She noticed the burn on Hanna's back so now I know what was going on. I knew she was being sprayed with water but I wasn't sure what else was happening. The poor thing was prodded with a cattle prod. Oh Hanna I could have got you a better deal on a fake engagement ring. I got a cute ring for $7.99 and it is sterling silver and it has a nice shiny cz too because this bitch can't afford diamonds. I'd be scared of diamonds because you're shit out of luck if you lose them while a ring that was eight bucks isn't such a loss. It is more of an annoyance than an oh fuck I lost a diamond ring. She tried to talk to Hanna but it didn't go well. I don't blame Hanna for being a bit cranky after all she went through hell and this time she was all by herself. She did open up during the trip to Amish land. Good on you Aria for taking pictures of the vials in the trunk but oops you put the key back in the wrong place but nice try and hey that was clever coming out of Spencer's gate. Sure she could have taken a picture of everything in the trunk but you wouldn't be able to see the names of the different medications that Elliot has been using on Ali.
They figured out that Elliot and Mary pretended to be dead Jessica and dead Darren because of the blue contacts. Ironically Darren was Amish in the books which is just so very weird. Emily went to Amish land in the books while Hanna and Aria did in the show. They conveniently run into a little girl named Eliza who said they looked like her dolls but she said it after Aria showed up. I don't understand why Amish call us English. I don't have an English accent. I don't have an accent at all but I do have relatives across the pond. Anyhoo it looks like Elliot took Charlotte there so she could play dolls with Eliza. They also kissed according to this kid and I'm thinking it had to be recent which makes the whole Elliot and Ali thing confusing. They were sneaking around and decided to go public before Charlotte was released but it looks like he was also involved with Charlotte. God I'm getting a migraine. Oh sure that Ali doll looked like Ali if I squint and pretend it looks like Ali.
Ashley gave Emily a job since she's back in Hollis although I have yet to see her crack open a book. She's too busy trying to get busy with Sabrina. Give me a round of applause for remembering her name this time. If Emily gets in good with Sabrina maybe she'll give the girls baked goods since they might need to get a little baked after what's been going down. It is crazy that people are concerned about their love lives when they have other shit they should be focusing on. Emily got a date and I think Caleb and Spencer might have broke up. I'm not sure since I thought they already did but apparently I was wrong. They need to put little notes on the screen since I never know when people are broken up. I just know that Hanna is single but doesn't want anyone to know about it. Anyone else seriously confused or is that just me?
So while Spencer was drinking tea Toby was off proposing to what's her name. She popped out of the trailer when Spencer stopped by with the file on Rollins. Oh the excitement. Whee! It looks like Toby is doing the same thing as McDreamy did while he was building his house on Grey's Anatomy. It makes sense to live in a trailer so you don't have to pay rent while you're working on the house. He finally got around to looking at the file and found out something about Elliot. He's either 58 or died in 58. I have a TV that's too small to see text on the screen most of the time so I don't even bother. Wow Elliot what moisturizer do you use since you look good even though you're totally evil and off the charts creepy? Emily went to Toby herself because Spencer chickened out.
A text comes from Elliot's phone which turns out to be Ali so the girls go off without thinking to call on Toby or Caleb for some extra backup. Elliot took Ali out of the hospital and was going off with her who knows where but she managed to crash the car and started running. He ran into the street and forgot to look before crossing and got flattened by Hanna. It just isn't the girl's week. First she gets kidnapped and tortured now she's killed a man. This is where you'd think they'd call the police after all it wasn't a murder just like Aria never murdered Shauna but no the girls are stupid at this point because we know they're going to bury the body. Call the cops. Call Toby so you can avoid getting charged with murder when you're caught. I'm going to need a nice padded cell by the time this show ends. I hope it just stays at twenty episodes since I don't think I can deal with more especially since so much shit is going to be left dangling.
I'm kinda having deja vu. When the second half of season six started the first episode when it came back was okay and the next one was so boring that I literally went out to shovel snow and I hate shoveling snow. I didn't stop watching because I did enjoy the Andrea Parker bits. I'm just not sure which twin is the bug fuck crazy one. Who is Ali and who is Courtney? I won't say if someone is actually reading this and plans to read the books who the bug fuck crazy twin is. It is much smoother reading the books because they are quick and you just have A 1 and A 2 instead of having an A show up every time someone farts or picks their nose.
I'll admit that I got confused since I thought all the Hanna and what's his face stuff was in the past but obviously it wasn't since she broke things off. Well that was a smart move and I'm wondering if that was the same guy. Was it? Was that the same Liam? It isn't a good sign when you can't even remember what the people look like. See I'm totally right about the best shows having a small cast. Since this show can be confusing when it comes to breakups I thought Liam and Aria were already broken up but I think they are now. It isn't a good sign when you have no idea what's going on at all. Sure I'm prone to confusion but this is just ridiculous. Say the words or something so I can tell what the hell is going on. At least Hanna gave back the ring. Now she's taking Lucas up on his offer. I would do the same thing myself but sadly there's no rich person lurking around willing to do the same thing.
Even though Liam isn't very memorable I do give him a thumbs up for pointing out how disturbing and wrong the Aria and Ezra relationship was. I think it is easy for people to overlook that because the actors are the same age. If they got someone a little older the ick factor might have been more obvious but come on she was sixteen at the time. Now it isn't a big deal but back then it was illegal and a bit disturbing but weirdly Billy and Mary Kay are strangely normal considering their very unnormal relationship that started when he was like thirteen I think and she was I think in her thirties or something. I'm not sure but she did serve jail time and I have to wonder if Liam knows about the stalking since he did spy on the girls and even videoed Aria which was all sorts of creepy.
Poor Hanna was pretty surprised when she saw the person behind the wheel of the car. She had no idea that Mary existed. I wasn't sure what Mary was going to do but I figured Hanna wouldn't die. They are making it look like it could be Ali but who knows. I just want to roll my eyes when someone mentions another twin. Two sets of twins is more than enough. I hope Marlene doesn't want to bring in another twin. She said someone has a twin and they did and there were those girls Mindy and Cindy or something. They had rhyming names. She took Hanna to Spencer's place and it looks like maybe there might be some thinking going on since they aren't so sure about how safe Eli is. I'm pretty sure it is big no no not to mention a major conflict of interest to be the doctor of your wife but this is Rosewood where you can become a cop over the weekend. Where is Toby? Someone leaving a comment somewhere did mention something that was interesting. What if Toby killed Charlotte because she was the one that killed Marion? Flashbacks can lie but I would think that he'd be smarter about it and make it seem like a suicide instead of a clear cut homicide. It might sound sexist but I get the feeling that the killer is a guy since that seems more like something a guy would do instead of a girl and come on can you imagine any of those girls pulling off snapping Charlotte's neck and tossing her off the bell tower.
Spencer's getting into Peter's stock. Here's hoping he's keeping his wick to one candlestick. It's like she knows that things are going south with Caleb but she doesn't really want to say it while Caleb just seems clueless. I don't know what to think of him. Clearly he still loves Hanna but I think he cares about Spencer. I still don't understand why they couldn't just be really good friends but I forgot the only girl that can become friends with the guys is the lesbian. Dude's wick doesn't need to go into every available candlestick since that just gets boring. Boohoo she lost her job. Now she doesn't have to go back to that horrible place she called from. Come on that was a cringe worthy moment on the bench when she was talking to someone. I can't remember who since I have the brain of a goldfish.
Things aren't going well for Ali. I don't know why everyone seems to have amnesia. She has plenty to feel guilty about without it being murder. Elliot seems more bent on revenge while Mary doesn't seem to be. I'm not sure what to think. It just sucks that we didn't get as much of Jessica on the screen. Was it always Jessica? Could some of those moments be Mary? I'm not sure about that story that Mary told about what happened with the baby that Jessica was babysitting but they always believed Jessica over Mary. This is giving me shades of the book and silly people think they are nothing like the books. That isn't totally true. Okay storylines are different but they do grab snippets here and there from the books. Since dreams aren't always dreams I'm sticking with my thought that Mary paid Hanna a visit because the Spencer in the "dream" was acting like a mom with the hair stroking and the singing.
Mary and Emily went to see Ali and it was pretty sad. Of course Ali thought Mary was Jessica so she asked her why she left her in the ground. At this point I'm not even sure who buried her alive and there's the whole part where Carla happened to be in the exact right place at the right time to pull Ali out of the ground like a carrot. Ali had managed to get a phone and called Emily. At least now Emily is regretting her decision to take Ali to the loony bin. Kinda late bitch but at least she's using her brain. I'm still confused about how this stupid jacket is supposed to prove anything. Hell the girl with the pot laced lemon bars (is she Pam's long lost daughter?) has blonde hair and guess what there are things called wigs that people can wear. Elliot shows up and he's not happy. Now my head hurts because I'm wondering who was injecting something into Ali's IV. It didn't seem to be Elliot because he enjoyed seeing her put two and two together. Now if only Emily would realize that Ali was trying to say that Elliot isn't a good guy since she was responding to that supposed dream she had where her mom said Elliot would take care of her.
I always hate when they do that bullshit where they start in the future and go back to the present although the whole digging a grave thing makes no sense at all since that didn't happen. So this show continues to drive me nuts but this wasn't a bad episode. I went in with low expectations and made the decision to stick with it till the bitter end.
Anyhoo I think the brain that is shared between the group was on vacation. Have you people never heard of twins? It didn't occur to any of them to think that Jessica had a twin sister. Yes Spencer you saw a dead Jessica but hello there's a thing called twins and that would be Mary which means she looks exactly like her sister. It is nice to see Andrea on since she never did get enough screen time. I do wonder if Peter ever dipped his wick in her candlestick. Come on isn't the thought of doing twins a fantasy for a lot of men? It's not like the woman is fugly. She's very attractive. Okay Mary's creepy but Jessica was too but they are gorgeous. So which twin was the evil one? Kinda hard to tell but it kinda seems like Mary might have been the one to kill Jessica since she'd know about the medication. I'm going with that so I can pretend I have an answer to one of the millions of questions that will likely never be answered.
I guess they decided to make Jason and Charlotte cousins to make it less icky since cousins having sex is hunky dory and totally legal although I find it a bit icky but that's just my opinion. I don't know why none of the group thought about Jason as a potential suspect. If I had to choose between Ali and Jason I'd pick Jason as the one to kill Charlotte since he had more of a motive. Come on they dated and he had to be disturbed when he found out who she really was especially since they originally made it seem like they were brother and sister instead of first cousins. Are identical twin cousins closer in DNA than regular first cousins? No wonder my brain doesn't turn off at night when random crap like that shows up. Of course the two had sex since most of the world loves doing it. It's not like she said hey I'm ace and I'm not into sex is that okay with you and that he would agree to it although that wouldn't necessarily stop them from having sex since some do have it.
I did like seeing everyone work together. Even if the others hate Mona they all know the girl loves Hanna. Poor Hanna was stripped down to her underwear so the gang could get a scare at the bell tower with the life sized doll of Hanna wearing a mask. I knew it wasn't going to be a dead Hanna they would find up there. You gotta love Pretty Little Liars for embracing its soapiness. Masks that are dead ringers for other people are no stranger to soap land. In case you didn't know and you happen to be reading this which would shock me since I'm not sure if anyone is this is a soap opera. Yep you're watching a soap opera. They aren't always called that since some people turn their noses up at the word. I guess words since it is two words. Anyhoo I thought it was odd that the gang put the name of their potential suspect in the bowl. Why couldn't they just go around and say who they thought it was. I wonder who picked Mona. It could be Caleb although he did simmer down a bit when he was working with Mona.
Oh how fun Mary now owns the Lost Woods Resort. I guess there's a creepy requirement to be the owner of it. Do they ever have guests there? Aside from Mona and the girls I think that's about it. She has tons of books. Okay I confess when books were mentioned I got excited until I found out what kind they are. Color me not shocked that Spencer would use an app to learn languages that reward you with emojis that fly to the place where they speak the language you mastered. I wonder if that's a real thing. Do they give you one for English? I think I've nearly mastered the language. I can say some things in Spanish too. I assume Hanna was being kept near the creepy motel. Sure Mary is creepy but she did give Spencer good advice about locking the door. It baffles me when people don't lock their doors. Seriously what do they think a lock is for? Decorative purposes? A suggestion? Mary killed a baby when she was a teen which landed her in Radley the first time around and she was in and out until I'm guessing until after she gave birth to Charlotte. I'm thinking she was locked up when she did unless they are going to screw with the age again or forgot about the show being five years in the future. Wonder who the father is? Could Jason and Charlotte be first cousins and half siblings? Who knows where Peter's wick has been in this town.
I do feel bad for Ali. She now knows her husband is an evil bastard. I do wonder when Elliot hooked up with Charlotte since that shit doesn't make sense. Is this the same guy or was he some unmemorable I forgot what he looked like? Weren't Ali and Elliot a thing before Charlotte got out but now it was just for revenge for killing Charlotte. I can't be the only one confused. Also I must have missed the part where it was revealed that Ali killed Charlotte. I must have blinked and missed it. All I saw was a jacket and a blonde that could have been anyone since there are a lot of blondes in town and there was that one girl at Radley who had the same kind of hair as Charlotte and Ali. Donna I want to say her name is. Her face was never shown but she flipped out at art time. I also want to slap Emily for being an idiot. First she lets Ali check herself into loonyville and now she seems to think that Ali killed her sister even though it really made no sense unless I missed something which is totally possible. Emily seems to forget that Ali has done lots of things she should feel guilty about but that doesn't mean murder is one of them. Hell Emily saw many of these things herself like the time Ali blinded Jenna. Okay I don't think Ali meant to blind her but she did and we never did find out why she gasped when she looked into the garage and threw the stink bomb later turned firecracker that caused the garage to explode. Yeah I'm confused about that too.
Oh how sweet Emily was snooping in Ali's room while a song about stalking was playing. Did they not listen to the lyrics when they thought about making it a coupley song? Look up the lyrics to this Police song. I'll be watching you. Every move you make. Every breath you take. I'll be watching you. Well something like that. Does that not strike you as creepy? I don't understand why people would think they'd make a good couple. It doesn't make sense to me. I'm fine if you like them as a couple since I'm not insane like some people are when it comes to couples but unless Ali magically becomes a lesbian I've never seen signs of her liking girls and every time she was with Emily it was always manipulative. Sure they showed them when they had that moment in bed together and it was going on while Ezra and Aria were getting it on but hello Ali was manipulating Emily to get her on her side since she was losing control over the group. At least she didn't have to hide in the closet like Ezra and Aria did. Why does Elliot have a bone saw? He's a shrink. Seriously did I miss Ali confessing to the murder? I wanted to slap Emily for being an idiot. The bitch wasn't thinking at all.
I felt bad for poor Hanna. She's in the middle of a Saw movie. She can't see and she's in her underwear and there's water being sprayed all over her but she had a moment with Spencer in a dream or was it a dream? I really don't know. I had to wonder if Jessica put on a Spencer mask in an attempt to get Hanna to reveal who killed Charlotte. I just wonder where the jacket came from since I doubt Elliot put it there because he wants to know who killed Charlotte. Oh shit it is starting again and I hope I don't get a migraine from watching this show. After her chat with fake Spencer who might have been dream Spencer the underwear wearing Hanna got out and escaped. Go Hanna. Too bad she didn't have a cellphone in her cleavage. I doubt she could have put it in her underwear. Shit I wish I looked that good in underwear but let's just say I don't and drop it. She makes it to the street and sees a car so of course she tries to get it to stop. I think it was the same car that Hanna saw stop inches in front of her and hello there's Mary looking at her. I'm not sure how I feel about this season so far. I think I've reached the point where I know answers won't be revealed and plot holes will still be glaring out at me when I try to make sense out of things so I will likely continue to be annoyed, frustrated, and confused while I watch the season of this show. Until next time. Later Bitches. How nice that ten years later or however long it has been since Rosewood time confuses me that the bar where Aria and Ezra met actually got a name. Snookers? Seriously? Whose idea was that? That's a dumb name for a bar.
I've watched soaps for a long time so I thought I'd do something different. Instead of recapping which I seem to suck at I'll go for a little mocking instead.