1. Drop your groceries and run out of the store when you see a guy glaring at you even if he happens to be hot.
2. Get your ass in the car and drive off instead of letting him talk to you. If you do that don't give him your driver's license so he knows your info.
3. Things aren't always as they appear. The word Hopeless can actually turn out to have a sweet meaning.
4. Be very suspicious of a parent that bans TV, phones, and Internet. Okay maybe banning the phone isn't so bad because I'm not a fan. This is a big red flag that something funky is afoot.
5. If your parents name you Seven start going by Six even if you have a normal middle name. Six is so much cooler than Seven. Note to self: Blossom marathon. Wonder if the library has it. Break out the popcorn.
6. A guy named Breckin is cool especially if he introduces you to the wonders of an ereader. No they will never replace the magic of a physical book but they can come in handy. Anyone else want a spin off with Breckin and Max? I just think he's so adorable.
7. If a guy flips out over your bracelet something is up. Dude just tell her what's going on already. You aren't making a good impression despite your hotness.
8. Nightmares can actually be you remembering shitty things from your past especially when you flip out when you're called Princess. Who doesn't want that? I bet Breckin would too. Let's get our tiaras out bitches and watch Mean Girls or something.
9. Think twice about confronting the father you haven't seen in years especially when he's a cop and you had a major meltdown in the house earlier because you remembered the serious shit that went down there.
10. Save the Dawson and Joey routine for your best friend. Don't have random guys climb in and out of your window for make out sessions. If you aren't feeling anything that could be a clue that something is wrong.
11. After finding out what happened to you as a small child the best cure to wiping away those horrible memories is to boink your boyfriend.
12. Always make sure to take your bra off so you don't get any brain matter on it while you're cleaning up. After make sure to boink again to wipe away the horror of seeing what you just saw.
13. Sometimes a person does something illegal for the best reason because it totally pales in comparison to something even more horrifying and illegal.
Colleen's books are quite addictive but I have to admit this isn't my favorite. So I continue on down the rabbit hole of Hooverdom. Until next time read on my friends read on.